xzackysxharlotx

In continuing the ongoing fail-saga that is her life.

She was dumped, seemed happy about being single, then dated him again, then got dumped again.

The world can rest, she's single and lonely. It won't be too long until she finds a new boy.

I find it pathetically hilarious that she took down a picture of him in her album of pictures on Myspace but didn't take the one of him, fake banging her on a pool table, down.

Trying to make Jeff jealous?

LAWL.

In other news, I love Jake.

Randomly discovered she's friends with her ex boyfriend... again. You know, the one she pretty much cheated on Jake with, dated three times and then cheated on. You may ask why I am so interested in her.

Because her life is a failure.

That's all.

What do you want to bet she's gonna try to get with him again?

You can't fuck someone over and cheat on people and expect them to be friends with you, I knew this was going to happen.

Oh man. What a joke this is.

So I go on Myspace this morning, and see Brandi posted a picture so, I took a trip to her profile. She had been pretty down lately and from what I gather, her boyfriend wasn't really present.

Ihriel should have known it would come to this.
Mood: hurt

Scrolled down, and...

Status: Single

HA!

I fucking knew it, I called it. I knew it was going to happen soon. I really need to stop being so right all the time.

All in all, I'm a fucking winner and she's still a fucking loser.

BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
Not really
Jake says:
-_-
I know when somethings bugging you
just tell me.
BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
Honestly?
Jake says:
Honestly.
BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
Well honestly, I miss you, it's hard for me to talk to you like this sometimes and just not being able to say some stuff I want to
Jake says:
is it because you don't think we're back together?
BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
Yeah
Jake says:
-_- we've been back together, I jsut don't feel the need to expressly say it
I thought you kind of understood that.
BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
Well sometimes I thought, I wasn't sure and didn't want to press anything and make it weird
Jake says:
Well I don't think it really needed to be said
don't be dumb, we're back together.
BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
Okayy
Jake says:
I love you. I don't say it because I don't think it needs to be said :l
you nkow?
know*
BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
Oh okay, that's fine with me
I feel a lot better now, thank you
Jake says:
you sure?
BJ[B] -- "Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand." says:
100%


WELL. THANKS FOR TELLING ME JAKE!
I'm so happy though, now I finally know, and it's good.

This is the only place I know where I can get this out.

I miss him. I miss who he used to be. I miss us and the way we used to be. Things are getting better, or so I thought, just not as quickly as I would like. I happened to stumble upon the song "I will be" by Leona Lewis earlier tonight, which used to be one of our songs and wow it hurt me so much to listen to that, I just cried and cried and cried.

I can't tell him though because I don't want to seem stupid and annoying or pathetic or weird, all of which I know I am, but I miss him so much. I miss being able to say "I love you" to him and it hurts so much that I can't now. I guess I could, but I know I wouldn't get it back so, I can't bring myself to do it.

It was such a routine being the way we were, I don't know. I don't even know what I all wanted to say. It sucks though, so much.

He said he wanted things to get better so I guess that's a plus, just sometimes I feel used and whatever.

Besides, reading stuff like this, on my profile doesn't make it easier.

Because.
There's no doubt in my mind it's you.
Why should we dance around with whether or not we're engaged because I haven't been able to give you a ring yet.
In my book you are my fiancée and my bride to be.

Shit like that fucking kills me.
How was he so sure or so I thought? He wasn't even sure. You don't make someone fall in love with you over something you're not sure of. You don't ask someone to marry you if you're not sure of it. You don't plan a life with someone if you're not sure of it. That is just fucking cruel

Oh well.

Hmmmm so tired right now and Jake doesn't get home until after 11. x_x Ughhhhhh, ahaha.

It's been a hard almost two weeks. Hard indeed.

Anywho, not much to report.

"Paper Bag"

She don't run from the sun no more
She boxed her shadow and she won
Said I can see you laugh
Through these bottle caps
And this wire around my neck ain't
There for fun

But someday we'll all be old
And I'll be so damn beautiful
Meanwhile I'll hide my head
Here in this paper bag
Cause if I cant see you
Then you can't see me
And it'll be okay
Fly little bee away
To where theres no more rain
And I can be me

Yeah they talk about her
She smiles like shes so tough
She says
"hey can you talk a little louder,
I don't think my heart is broken enough"

But someday we'll all be old
And I'll be so damn beautiful

Meanwhile I'll hide my head
Here in this paper bag
Cause if I can't see you
Then you can't see me
And it'll be okay
Fly little bee away
To where theres no more rain
And I can be me

Some days I wade in the indigo
Singing that song on the radio
I blame these puddles on the rain
You know I gotta keep these cheeks dry today
Gotta keep my cheating strategy
And baby I'm gonna have it made.

But someday we'll all be old
And I'll be so damn beautiful

Meanwhile I'll hide my head
Here in this paper bag
Cause if I can't see you
Then you can't see me
And it'll be okay
Fly little bee away
To where there's no more rain
And I can be me

♥.

Trying so hard to fit in.
All you do is stand out.
Trying so hard to stand out.
All you do is blend in.
One day you'll find out who you are.
Not who you think you should be.

----------

In this place, time doesn't exist.
Hours are but numbers, they have no meaning.
The leaves on the trees outside the window are but objects you cannot feel them.
The sun is merely a star you cannot feel its warmth.
She looks out the window to the great warm star and smiles.
Face against the glass as she hears those foot steps.
Again.
One more look outside and she turns because she's not alone.
Looking at them she gently asks, "What day is it?"
"It's the 7th, Rosalie."

I’m heading to Becca’s that night with chocolate cupcakes and all our favourite movies because she and I haven’t seen each other in about four months and I miss that girl so fucking much. We were best friends in high school, and I still consider her my best friend (yes, they are in a hierarchy) because she understands me like no one else does and knows me probably better than anyone – except my sister. I have the most fun with her and oh I just fucking love her and I’m gonna die when she moves away but I’m putting that out of my mind right now I’m gonna stalk her there anyway so it’s not like we’ll never see each other again

Soooo it will be one of our legendary movie nights where we talk through each movie, eat cupcakes and hummus and chips and salsa – goth points – and talk about sex and who knows, maybe I’ll even wear my skeleton pyjamas and be really badass, and we’ll make fun of Gerard being fat and Quinn being a garden flame like always. ♥

I love Danielle aahah :D.
I'm not too sure about things right now, last night was, well, fucking awful.
I've never felt so shitty and demeaned in all my life.

This girl makes me so angry it's hilarious.

Yo, I know people don't like the music I like, I've dealt with it. I like making digs at the music she likes though, and she comes back and says she doesn't like shit metal like Bleeding Through. When, probably up until yesterday, probably right after she posted that, she had Bleeding Through in her music list. So did she not actually like them and was trying to seem cool? Oh I forgot, she's hardcore. She likes Black Metal because her boyfriend is in a black metal band. Ohh, a shitty black metal band ;D. It's like she's some sort of metal elitist, no sir you are not. Once Kyle dumps her, and he will, she'll find a new kind of music to defend. This is all a laugh, it really is, I think I'm gonna call her out on this one actually, because it's too funny not to.

Life is rather lifey at the moment, and I like it mucho.

Booerns @ Blockbuster calling Jake into work tonight, I'll try to stay up to greet him, I make no promisessss. I feel like watching a movie tonight, I don't know which though, hmmmm.

I have nothing of substance to write about, so I'll go now, byeee.

S'movin' fast.

Going to be engaged in the next year.
Have my new last name picked out.
Kid's names were done a while ago.

Call it what you want, I call it love, I call it wonderful and I call it mine.

Absolutely nothing.

Burning Hella CDs.
People don't know how insecure things they say can make you.

I love this.

BJ(J) " You can read me anything." says:
alright
sorry
BJ[B] -- "You can sing me anything." says:
For?
BJ(J) " You can read me anything." says:
i dunno, feel like I shouldnt be playing right now
BJ[B] -- "You can sing me anything." says:
Why?
BJ(J) " You can read me anything." says:
i guess Ijust feel like I should be spending time with you :S

Well guess what? If you think you should be, maybe you should. It's nice to know where I stand, yet. again. I'm not mad per se, more so just not in the mood to be talked to every few minutes no matter how much he 'doesn't need to pay attention'. Whatever. Honestly no matter how much I say, I'm not going anywhere, he's gotta learn what it takes to make someone want to stay.

I'm fairly apathetic though.
So what else is new?

Livejournal is fun.

I like this spellcheck thing that Firefux has.
Also, I have a cold, FUCKING suxdood.

Lalallala.
ughhhhhhguhgughughgu.

Either I'm just an idiot or he is just really fucking stupid.

He told me he was going to some convention this coming weekend in wherever, I said cool. Up until about 20 minutes ago, I neglected to realize that this coming Saturday is our anniversary. Our, one.year.fucking.anniversary.

Well I hope he has fun because I have no fucking desire to talk to him right now at all. I hope he has fun looking at anime because if I had my way, he would not be talking to me AT ALL. I doubt we'll talk tonight, wow.

I honestly cannot believe it.
I am fucking livid